My Grandfather’s Decision

“We were neighbours at Telok Ayer Street. My mother and your grandfather’s mother came from the same village in Fujian, China, and they addressed each other as sister. Your grandfather’s father worked on a ship and was seldom around. To ease his wife’s burden, he made some arrangements with my family to allow your grandfather to take a meal at our place. In exchange, he had to help my elder sister with her English lessons. Your grandfather was an intelligent boy. He was educated in an English school, but that was mainly to take him off the streets. To keep him out of mischief.”

My grandmother chuckled. I was delirious. I urged her to continue.

“At the beginning, my sisters and I felt uncomfortable by the presence of a stranger in the household. Most of the times, we ate in silence. However, as we were sympathetic towards his plight, we warmed up to one another eventually and soon, every meal with your grandfather was punctuated with bouts of laughter, much to the disapproval of my parents. Once, I gave him a lollipop, for no reason other than to make him happy. Your grandfather was speechless as he stared at the lollipop in his hands. After a while, he looked at me, smiled and turned away.”

“My mother, whom your grandfather addressed as Tua Yi, asked him to travel to Temangan with the family and teach there. I was already in Temangan then. I was very happy to see your grandfather at the railway station but I concealed my happiness with silence as was expected of any well-bred girl. We built a friendship based on many lively conversations and childish pranks. I remember I had a prized hen that could lay many eggs at a time. However, several times when I heard the hen cackle, which meant it had laid eggs, I would come out to find the nest empty. I suspected your grandfather had stolen them. However, it would have been unwise to confront him with no evidence as that man was a cheeky one and could weasel out of the confrontation with some cock and bull story. So one morning, I hid behind some sacks of rice to catch your grandfather red-handed. True enough, I saw him steal one egg but he was too fast for me to catch. I waited in ambush again. He crept out and stole another one. I jumped out from my hiding spot. You should have seen the look on his face. But instead of running away or apologising to me, that daredevil swallowed the contents of the egg in front of me, as if to challenge me. I was furious. I grabbed the nearest stick and chased him around the yard. I did not hold back my blows on him as it was sweet revenge for all the tricks he had played on me!”

I laughed. I looked at my grandfather’s spectacles on the table and could not see the egg-stealing youth in my grandfather.

“That was one of the more boisterous moments of interactions I had with your grandfather in Temangan. It was wonderful while they lasted. Six months later, your grandfather had to return to Singapore. I was heartbroken. I did not want him to leave. I was so disappointed with his departure that I did not turn up to bid him farewell.”

The aroma of the onion roast chicken reached my nose. But nothing delighted me more than my grandmother’s love declaration. My cousins, even my parents, would be green with envy when they found out that grandmother shared her love story with me.

“My mother did not wish to live in Temangan for the rest of her life and so we returned to Singapore. Your grandfather turned up at the railway station to pick us up. Throughout the journey, I didn’t talk to him. It was my way of punishing him for leaving me behind. We stayed in a rented house along Zion Road. After a while, my brother and sisters from Temangan joined us. Yuanting! Did you cook the rice?”

The shrill pitch in my grandmother’s voice broke the enchantment followed by the horrible realisation that I had forgotten to cook the rice! My grandmother’s onion roast chicken and steamed rice are inseparable. Eating the former without the latter is akin to committing blasphemy against her culinary artistry. I stood up immediately, the screeching of the chair’s legs deepened the frowns on my grandmother’s face, and hurried to the rice bin. The Chinese character for “abundance” in gold blazoned against the auspicious red paper stared reproachfully at me, as if reprimanding me for my absentmindedness.

“How…how was life at Zion Road Nai Nai?” I asked in my most earnest tone.

“Times were tough, especially during the Japanese Occupation. We lived in fear everyday and were afraid to step out of our house as we heard stories of atrocities meted out to the locals. My mother had to shoulder everything as there was no man in the house.”

“Your grandfather visited us regularly throughout this period. He helped us in whatever ways he could like bringing groceries and food to my family. He stayed with us till late before making his way home. It was a dangerous period in Singapore. The Japanese soldiers mistreated innocent passers-by with extreme cruelty. I was so worried for your grandfather though I didn’t express my concerns. But each night, as he made his way home on his bicycle, I would watch him from behind my curtains till his silhouette disappeared down the road. I would then lay in bed, imagining the unthinkable things, seeing in my dreams the unspeakable deeds the Japanese would do to him. It was only in the morning when the ring of his bicycle bell reached my ears did my fear dissipated.”

I was impressed by my grandfather’s courage and chivalry. He had always taught us to be brave and stand up for injustices. I was glad to know that he was a man who walked the talk.

“Although we did not speak to each other, my sister’s sworn sister noticed signs of affections between the two of us. She approached your grandfather and offered a marriage proposal between him and I. It was also suggested partly because there were rumours that the Japanese soldiers were on a rampage to capture unmarried girls back to their camp for fun and leisure. My family was hoping that I would be protected from harm if I marry your grandfather.”

“Cool! What did Ye Ye say?” I could not contain the excitement in my voice.

“Well, your grandfather did not agree immediately. He asked for three days to consider. He was deciding between me and another girl.”

“There was another girl?” I asked in disbelief.

“Yes, there was. She was your grandfather’s friend. Her name was Xin Wu. Your grandfather could not decide between the two of us. He came up with six questions and the answers would help him choose his wife.”

That was my grandfather. Always so detailed, meticulous and analytical.

“Do you remember the questions?” I asked.

“No, it was long ago. But on our wedding night, your grandfather told me that he was in favour of me and that I was the one whom he cared for more. He would be depressed if he could not see me.

The sparkle in my grandmother’s eyes radiated.

“After your grandfather made up his mind to marry me, he obtained his father’s approval and set off to give the answer to my mother. He proposed the engagement to be effected in three days’ time and the marriage soon after in the simplest form possible, discarding all traditions except the exchanging of rings, the signing of a marriage certificate and a fake pre-dated one to be shown to the Japanese soldiers just in case, and setting up a pre-nuptial room. For your grandfather, it was the beginning of a wholesome family life that he had never experienced.

The drizzle had ceased. My grandmother gingerly packed the chopped onion roast chicken into the metal tin carrier, a familiar accompaniment on the regular trips to Mount Alvernia Hospital to visit my grandfather. The rice was ready. I always loved the smell of steamed rice. It reminded me of the warmth and love of a family. I put the rice into the Tupperware, pressing it softly. I walked over to the cabinet and took my grandfather’s bowls and crockery.

“Plastic spoons and wooden chopsticks discourage eating.”

I smiled as my grandfather’s lament about disposable crockery played in my head.

I held the car door for my grandmother as she slid onto the passenger’s seat, the food perched delicately on her knees.

“So how was life after marriage Nai Nai?” I was driving along the expressway. Traffic was smooth.

“Our lives were dedicated to raising eight children. It was a tumultuous period. Your grandfather was a teacher and he toiled very hard to support the family through his meager income. He was a great advocate of education and believed that education is what makes a man. Although times were trying and resources were scarce, he made sure that all children received education. It was a time when English schools ignored the Chinese language and Chinese schools taught very little English. Your grandfather did not want all his children to be English educated and lose their Chinese roots. Neither did he want all of them to be Chinese educated and enter the work force as underdogs, unable to find jobs. So he sent three children to Chinese schools and the rest to English schools. Between 1950 and 1968, those 19 years were tough. The last five years were especially intense. We could barely make ends meet. Out of sheer desperation, we planned to have your grandfather’s friend, Xin Wu, adopt your father. Yes, your father. We had no other choice.”

My grandmother paused. I glanced sideways at her. She showed no emotions. Then she continued.

“I was devastated. As much as I didn’t want to give my son away, I knew it was our best opportunity to give our son a shot at a better life. I cried every night. Not only was I worried about my son, I had also been borrowing money from my eldest sister to pay for school fees and other family’s expenses. The debt was partially paid with your grandfather’s bonus each year but it still increased nonetheless. I was worried that the debt would remain unpaid even after my death. Your grandfather knew how I felt. Although he did not offer words of consolation or promises to me, he did something much more sincere and worthwhile. He worked hard. He put his heart, mind and soul into working hard, providing for the family and most importantly, he did not give his son, our son away. He gave me the best gift any mother could have – the opportunity to be with her child at every stage of his life.

“Gradually your grandfather’s salaries increased over the years and our financial circumstances improved. Due to his resourcefulness and foresight, he earned sufficient money to send your father and uncle overseas for further education! Do you know what a huge achievement that was? When your youngest uncle graduated, we heaved a sigh of relief. We could truly exclaim that we had not failed any of our children.”

“Love came alive through your grandfather. Your grandfather showed that love is more than just a passion or a feeling, it is a decision. The decision to stay committed to your partner, your family, your responsibilities and your marriage vows. To persevere in times of uncertainty, to cherish in times of hardships and to love in times of difficulty, your grandfather had achieved all those.”

I turned into a car park. My grandmother’s voice had faltered. Up ahead, a white car was reversing out of a lot.

“I love your grandfather so much. When he was given 10 years to live after his heart valve transplant, I knew it was my turn to be strong for him, to persevere in times of uncertainty and to love and honour him in times of difficulty.” My grandmother choked back her tears and hastily pulled out a piece of tissue to dab her eyes dry.

“Cannot let your Ye Ye see me like that. He will be worried. Eh, you wipe your eyes too. We must not worry your Ye Ye.”

I dried my eyes against my sleeves. We reached a flight of stairs. I held on to my grandmother’s arm as we climbed up the steps. The past few sleepless nights had taken a toll on her health. But I could sense her resilience. Very soon, we were engulfed by rows and rows of whitewashed walls. Flowers and memorabilia adored the columns.

It took us a while before we found Ye Ye. His toothy grin stared back at us as Nai Nai waved the metal tin carrier in front of his photograph.

“Eh, we have brought your favourite chicken.”

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My grandfather passed away peacefully after my grandmother assured him that she would be all right. Lollipops were given out to family members, relatives and guests at the cremation, in memory of my grandfather.